“The ability to accept responsibility is the measure of the individual.” – Roy L. Smith
Congratulations! You are part of a very small percentage of the population that is willing to dig into life and grow. You have decided to analyze where you are in life, what you want out of life and make the changes necessary to achieve that change. And you have realized that any change has to come from within.
Most people go through life trying to control people, places and things to get what they want. They praise themselves when things go well, and cast blame upon the environment, circumstances and the people around them when they don’t. Self improvement, personal growth or stepping out of their comfort zone is not part of their daily lives except as these work to boost their ego and social position. But the idea of an honest look at themselves, who they are and where they are in life, never crosses their mind.
If you’re doing the ‘work’ in a twelve step program, you know that it requires a daily commitment. You realize that no one else is responsible for your happiness in life other than you, yourself. By that same realization, you know that you must also accept that the unhappiness in your life is also your responsibility. And you know that the seeds of any change in your life must first be must be planted within and nurtured with patience before they blossom into results.
Excuses and blame are replaced by honesty. I used to feed my addiction because of the circumstances of my life, my relationships and my broken dreams. But when I honestly looked at who I was, I was able to see that I was the one who created the circumstances that I was in or I allowed myself to go in a direction I didn’t want to go. My relationships with others were faltering because I had expectations of what I should be getting and not what I could give. And my dreams were not realized because I wasn’t committed to them.
Accepting responsibility for everything: my successes and my failures, is really hard. It’s so much easier to point to others, my parents, spouse or boss, and say they are the reason I am the way I am. But now I know they’re not to blame. It’s what I did or didn’t do, accepted or didn’t accept, dreamed or didn’t dream that has created the circumstances I find myself in. And if I am to make any changes in my life, that too is a responsibility I must accept.
Probably ninety percent of the people in this world never get to this point in life, never even pick up the shovel. And here you are: digging, analyzing, finding solutions and making the changes to implement those solutions in your life. You’re doing the work. That’s big! It’s worthy of giving yourself a pat on the back. And the results you get out of all of this will inspire you to keep moving forward. Congratulations!