sobriety

H.O.W. to Recover

/ Tim / Leave a comment

How does one recover from addiction and alcoholism? This is the H.O.W. of recovery:  Honesty, Open-mindedness, Willingness. These attitudes go a long way toward a life that is happy, joyous and free. Without any of them, my chances at recovery are slim.

Honesty is an attitude of no more secrets. Revealing who I am, at least to myself, my Higher Power and another person is a necessary part of my recovery. I need to be accepting and true to who I am. Honesty is standing tall without pretending or pretense. It is humility: this is ‘me’, this is who I really am. I need not tell everyone everything about who I am, but if I want to live with integrity, I can no longer hide behind a curtain of half truths and false impressions.

Open-mindedness is that which allow me to seek answers and to step away from my comfort zone. It is a realization that I don’t know everything and that what I do know may not be correct or in need of a change or two. When I am open-minded I am asking questions and seeking answers. I am convinced that seeking the answers to new questions in life today is far more important to my personal growth than hanging onto the answers that solved yesterday’s question.

Willingness is the desire to move forward, do the work and put forth some elbow grease. It’s often easy to rest on yesterday’s laurels and take my comfort. But if I am to grow I have to be willing to move, to change and to expend the energy necessary to make changes in my life. It’s doing the work even when I don’t see the results right away. It’s following the recipe of recovery even when I don’t understand it or why I am doing it at the time. It is trusting the process and moving on.

Honesty, Open-mindedness and Willingness are H.O.W. I got sober and they are the attitude that keeps me that way. If I am lacking any of these attitudes I am taking steps away from my recovery. They form the foundation of a recovery that will allow me to grow and change and evolve. Who I was yesterday is not who I am today. I cannot cling to the self I started with in the program if I want to change. Believing that I’ve ‘got it’ leads to stagnation and decline. I have to keep it fresh.

I think these attitudes are absolutely necessary for people in recovery and I am quite sure they are absolutely necessary for people who aren’t. Honesty, open-mindedness and willingness are attitudes that allow for a life that is constantly growing, changing and evolving into a newness every day.

I am grateful to my sponsor Bob who reminded me of this acronym last week. ¡Gracias amigo!

Maintaining Equilibrium

/ Tim / 1 Comment

I’ve spent the last five days battling a tropical cold-flu combination that really kicked my ass. I’m on the mend now, but I know I still have to nurse myself back to health. I’ve slept more and seen more Netflix than I really wanted to this week. Those things I was planning on doing, well, they either went on or didn’t without me. Today I am going to venture out of the cocoon for a short bit and return home to relax. I’m not going to push myself.  I’m not 25 and I don’t bounce back as quickly as I used to.

The experience of this week has reminded me that I still have to take care of my physical self. I’m not superman, and even he had his kryptonite. It’s a reminder as well that what happens in the body affect the mind and visa versa. And a reminder of something I learned in the rooms early on: H.A.L.T. Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired.

Whenever I am stretched out in some way, emotionally, physically or spiritually, whenever I am off balance, that is when I have a greater chance of succumbing to a disease be it addiction or another disease such as the flu or cold. I’ve come to see over the years that there’s a very strong mind-body-spirit connection and what happens in one area affects all other areas. I’ve also come to believe that when I am stuck in bed it’s a good time for me to reflect on what is out of balance in my life and make the necessary changes to get myself back into balance.

Soon, I know, I will be back to my normal self, going about my daily chores and routines. I know it will be easy to slip back into the patterns that can lead me right back to where disease can take over again. In order to take care of my physical body I need to take care of it by getting enough rest, eating a balanced diet, and not letting my emotions run the show. H.A.L.T. reminds me that it’s easy to get myself off track and that it’s just as easy to get back on the path.

My spiritual, mental and physical health all require balance. A violin string that is too loose doesn’t sound, if it is wound too tight, it breaks, but when it is in balance, it creates the sweetest sounds. And like the violinist checking if he’s in tune, I must check to see that there’s balance in all aspects of my life. If I want to keep on track in my heath and in my recovery, I can’t take it for granted that ‘I’m okay’, I have to work at it constantly.

 

I Don’t Got This

/ Tim / Leave a comment

I’ve learned a few things over the years by going to recovery meetings. And I have heard a lot of ‘suggestions’ as well. I’m going to add one more ‘suggestion’ to the pile: never say ‘I got this’, or ‘I didn’t before  but now I get it,’ or ‘I know what I’m doing now,’ or anything similar. It’s usually shared by folks with less than a year in recovery and, unfortunately, they usually stop coming to meetings and go back out.

What we have is a disease that is chronic and will never go away. I’ve learned in the rooms that I can never let down my guard. I must always be vigilant against the urge. I have heard too many people say that everything was going well and suddenly they  were slugging directly out of a bottle or sucking on a pipe and couldn’t understand what had happened; the disease happened.

Cunning, baffling, powerful. That is what we hear and it is so true. The disease of addiction is sly in its progress. It says that everything is good and you’re doing fine and that you ‘deserve’ or are ‘entitled’ to a bit of relaxation. Or it tells you that you are doing so well in the program because you’re really not an alcoholic or addict.  And down comes the cleaver: back into it again. I have learned that I can’t listen to my thoughts without the filter of my program. The second I say I’ve got this it’s like my mind opens up again to the disease.

“Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail.” Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 89

Step Twelve of our program asks us to work with others ‘intensively’. That is more than saying hi or sharing at a meeting. It is working with a sponsor or with a sponsee. It’s sitting down one on one with another in your recovery program and working the steps, deepening your knowledge and how to apply it to your own life. Working with others rewards by showing us what we need to do and by reminding us of where we came from. It keeps things fresh. And by keeping it fresh in our minds, we are reminded just how cunning, baffling and powerful this disease of addiction really is.

There is so much depth to the program. I am constantly amazed by people who have 10, 20 or 30 years in their program say at a meeting after reading some program literature that they don’t remember hearing this before. I am amazed at the comment of an old timer who had just over 50 years in recovery state at a meeting that he was still ‘just scratching the surface’ of the program.

So if I get a bit cocky at a meeting and say ‘I got this’ remind me of this blog post. I need to be constantly vigilant and living and sharing my program. Without it I am without defense against that first drug or drink. I am grateful for my program every day and I still have a lot to learn.