Trudging the Road

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I don’t think my life’s journey is much different from most folks. From a young age I was given to believe that there are two aspects to a human being: the physical side and the spiritual side. As a growing young boy I was told to focus on the spiritual aspects: building up my treasures in heaven, saying my prayers in the morning and at night, keeping notice of myself because I knew that God was always watching me. The goal of my spiritual practices was to keep myself in His good graces and get to Heaven or risk being sent to ‘the Other Place!’ The physical side of me, my humanity, was seen as sinful and a play-toy for the devil to tempt into his dark and smoky lair. Between my parents, the parish priest and the nuns and teachers who taught me at the Catholic school I attended, I had a pretty good idea of just what might await me at either place and so I became the best little boy in the world.

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Into my teens I stopped agreeing with everything the ‘church’ said, but I still held onto my beliefs. I’m not sure when I came to understand that my spirituality was not necessarily tied to my religion, but I know it was before I started my seminary training which lasted until I came face to face with my own sexuality and couldn’t go on with theological studies knowing that I could never make a vow of celibacy in good conscience. This didn’t separate me from the ‘church’ or spirituality. I continued to participate and follow the precepts set by Rome as best as I could until I couldn’t in good conscience continue due to a church letter which basically said that I was intrinsically evil because I was being true to my nature. The Vatican and I went our separate ways. Neither of us missed each other much, I’m sure.

And I continued my spiritual journey without religious guidance. I was graced with the ability to think logically, thanks in part, ironically, to my seminary training in philosophy. I have looked at other religions and belief systems, discovering more of what they have in common rather than focusing on their differences and seeing how I can incorporate their best parts into my own life. It’s a journey that I continue today, more than 30 years later, with some ups and downs along the way; few have scaled a mountain without the odd slip here and there.

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What is interesting to me is I still feel that same spiritual tug that I felt when I was a child. I don’t believe in the God I grew up with and who looked a lot like the Roman god Zeus and who hurled thunderbolts. I usually don’t use the word ‘God’ or ‘god’ when talking with people because it has so many connotations and brings up way too much imagery for many people. But I do have a ‘God of my understanding,’ and I often share that as long as he isn’t the guy who looks back at me in the mirror, I’m well looked after. I still believe that we have a spiritual side as well as a physical side, but today I know that they are inextricably linked together. My spiritual being, my consciousness, experiences itself and life through my physical being, which in turn, experiences itself because it is, itself, conscious. It’s sort of like the chicken and the egg conundrum: you need both to have either.

I still look to Jesus for some of his teaching and I’ve added Buddha and Krishna to my list of spiritual guides. I also look to the Stoic philosophers like Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius as well as contemporaries like Wayne Dyer, Joe Dispenza, and Vishen Lakhiani. And I would be very remiss not to add the importance the twelve step program that I have been following these last ten years for my spiritual as well as physical wellbeing. I enjoy sharing my experiences with others and hearing of their own trek to where they presently find themselves. With open-mindedness and willingness I have traveled far down this road which has brought together the spiritual and physical aspects of my being. It’s a journey everyone’s invited to take in whatever way that works for them.

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I’ve concluded that there is no conclusion: I can continue this journey for the rest of my days and never tire from the process. And I think that’s the point: there is no ‘end’ in spirituality, no destination only the journey. There are many pathways leading us onward and everyone’s pathway is just as valid as the next. While I sometimes wish that I had worked at this with more dedication and time in the past and be further along the path than I am, I also know that where I am on my pathway is exactly where I am supposed to be right now because, well, here I am. And you are where you are. What’s important is to keep going, to seek greater depth and understanding while being grateful for where we are at the present moment: living in the ‘now’. There is no final goal at the end. Happiness, peace of mind and serenity along the way are my reward. Enjoy trudging your own road of Happy Destiny.

Some Awe!

I was struck this week by the comparison of the size of an atom. If the proton at the centre of an atom were the size of an apple, the electron that is floating around it would be the size of sugar cube and be spinning in an orbit two kilometres away from the apple. The rest of the ‘sphere’ that makes up an atom is, as far as we know, empty space. The presenter I watched went onto emphasize that an atom is 99.99999999999999999% empty. A whole lot of nothing!

I read recently that our body is made up of about 100 trillion cells and each cell is made up of about 100 trillion atoms. That multiplies up to: 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 atoms (28 zeros there) or to make it easier, 10 Octillion atoms (thank-you Siri), in the average human body. But if this is true, then my body is also 99.99999999999999999% empty space. So why do most of us believe that the body and everything around it is solid? Perhaps there something filling the space that I think must be empty? Perhaps it is filled with energy, vibrations, dark matter? Perhaps solidity is an illusion, as is all of reality. Einstein said so, but he qualified it by saying that it was a persistent illusion. Thinking like this causes me to pause and think deeply and wonder.

Hubble Photo of the Cosmos

For me, this is a moment of Awe. I am struck by the wonder of it all. Where there is virtually nothing, I can sense a whole world. When quantum physicists got together with cosmologists, they discovered that the images they saw when looking into an electron microscope and looking through a powerful telescope were pretty much the same: a lot of empty space dotted by the tiniest of lights. This is incredible! This leaves me in a state of disbelief and yet at the same time, full of wonder at this truth. The British expression, ‘Gobsmacked’ fits here. It’s somewhere in between Homer Simpson’s ‘Doh!’ and Archimedes’ cry ‘Eureka!’ Yes, gobsmacked: the wonderment and astonishment of it all.

I watched a video last week on YouTube presented by Andrew Kirby. He’s a young chap from the UK I discovered last year when I was looking for information on Stoicism. In this video he said he believes being filled with a sense of awe can affect our lives even more powerfully than gratitude. When we are in a state of awe, we acknowledge that we are in the presence of something far, far greater than ourselves. We feel extremely small and insignificant relative to it. Perhaps you’re at the top of a cliff looking down at the waves crashing down below, sitting quietly inside a magnificent cathedral or gazing into the eyes of the Mona Lisa. And even though we sense how great this thing is and how infinitesimal we are, we still feel a deep connection to it.

Raphael’s School of Athens, Vatican City

When I was on the tour of the Vatican Museum years ago, we were escorted through room upon room of many of the great works of art: oils, sketches, frescoes, sculptures. There is so much art that great artworks lose their significance; it’s just one more Titian or another Michelangelo. I was following the crowds going at a fairly quick pace through gallery upon gallery when I turned. There before me was Raphael’s masterpiece, The School of Athens. Having studied art history as well as having studied the philosophy of Plato and Aristotle, I knew the fresco. I had seen photos of it, heard about it’s significance to art, to the politics and to competing philosophies at the time. And there it was! I wasn’t expecting to see it. I didn’t know it was in the Vatican Palace. And suddenly, there it was in all of its eight by five metres renaissance splendor! I was filled with awe: a feeling of reverential respect mixed with wonder or fear (thank you Oxford Dictionary). And I was connected to the subject, to the artist, to the ideas expressed and to the moment, a moment that, obviously, has stayed with me ever since. I couldn’t say anything; I was gobsmacked!

Yes, we hear the word ‘awesome’ so often that most of its true meaning has been sucked out of it. It is still a good word to use in situations like this. When I am at the cliff edge staring down, I have a feeling that goes beyond being grateful to experience this moment. It’s a ‘be still and know’ kind of moment. It’s a ‘OMG’ kind of moment. It a ‘being completely in the now’ moment. It is a very humbling moment and a deeply spiritual moment.

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We need more of these awe-some moments in our lives. We can seek those moments out. Find a place to live that inspires you. Visit the Grand Canyon, climb to the top of the Eiffel Tower, witness the miracle of birth, watch a flower unfold. Discover places and moments that fill you with awe in the truest sense of the word.

And what will this do for us? How does being full of awe help us? We connect. We step back. We relate. We are grateful. We are happy to have been a part of this experience that no video or still, no description nor writing and no telling could ever completely encompass; a moment that will impress feelings and emotions so deeply into our psyche that it can never be erased. We will have a sense that in some respects, although we are insignificant, and realizing that there may be more stars in the heavens than there are atoms in our bodies, we have communed with the divine.

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Find your awe!

Health in a Time of Corona

For the past six months we have been living in a world of uncertainty. In truth, we always have, but today with the Corona virus lurking in unknown corners, we feel the stress and anxiety of the unknown getting us down emotionally, spiritually and physically. However, I believe that there are decisions we can make and actions we can take to keep positive, lift our spirits and boost our strength.

I am not expert. I am not a doctor. I have no guru credentials either. I have spent the last five months, since the reality of our world situation came into a sharp focus, informing myself through books and media about my options. I’ve learned that over the past couple of generations, our focus of control has shifted from within, to external factors. I get my health from a doctor. My emotions from social media. My spirituality is often ignored. We have opted for ‘likes’ and pills, forgetting that real health, in body, mind and spirit comes from within and that all three are connected. There is no magic elixir that can cure all that ails us.

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I have learned that I can take my health back into my own hands. I have learned that our reliance on mass food production, processed foods, along with slick marketing and labeling practices have fooled us into believing that the chemicals we are eating is food. Sugar consumption continues to climb and with it, obesity rates, insulin resistance and diabetes. Processed foods are packaged enticingly, belying their contents. Nutrition has become a secondary element of our trip to the grocery store. Our lifestyle has become sedentary and we don’t have the ‘energy’ to even go for a walk because we are not getting enough energy in our diet. We are living in a world where a child born today will have a life expectancy that is less than his grandparents. Our emotional and spiritual health suffer as well because we do not know or have forgotten how to nourish them because we isolate ourselves behind closed doors and digital screens.

I have learned that I must inform myself, make decisions for myself and act on those decisions. I believe that the best approach overall health is to address all three facets of our humanity: body, mind and spirit. What I am evolving is a program of physical, mental and spiritual fitness that is working for me. I will add and subtract items as I gain more understanding. A road doesn’t have to be paved and painted to get me to where I want to go. As long as I continue to investigate and learn, improvements will continue.

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So, what is my program? I have membership at a gym because I know I prefer to exercise in the company of others: they inspire me. I average four, 40 minute workouts a week. It’s enough to work each major muscle group once a week. I began a keto diet to reduce weight get myself out of the ‘overweight’ category of fitness. Mentally, I have drastically reduced the time I spent on YouTube and Netflix and I am concentrating on reading more books, both fiction and non-fiction for entertainment and information. I am also listening to informative podcasts, videos and online classes. And spiritually, I have developed a meditation practice that both keeps me grounded here and connects me with Consciousness.

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Before Covid 19 appeared on the horizon I was doing little to contribute to my overall health and well-being. I am now more than 10 kilos lighter. I’ve read more books in the last six months than I had read in the last two years. I can’t imagine my day without a spiritual practice, usually meditation. I have more energy, feel greater self confidence, and am more connected than I have been in many, many years. As an added benefit, I believe that by improving my overall health, I have fortified my immune system as well. It may not prevent me from contracting any virus or disease, but it will give me a far greater chance of battling it successfully.

I share these small bits of information to encourage others to seek their own answers and to discover their own definition of ‘health’. I am grateful for this ‘isolation’ time that I have been given to make these lifestyle changes. I know that these feelings of optimism, strength and happiness will continue as I push forward in my quest for knowledge and understanding as we continue through this uncertain time of Corona.

For further investigation:

The Bulletproof Diet by Dave Asprey

The Code of the Extraordinary Mind by Vishen Lakhiani

Personality Isn’t Permanent, by Benjamin Hardy

Science and Spiritual Practices, by Rupert Sheldrake

www.mindvalley.com