Attitude

Success in Recovery

/ Tim / Leave a comment

I read a good blog about success and how much we need to do to renew ourselves or realize our plans. Sitting on the sofa in front of the television will not make you a world class athlete or a best selling writer. People who are successful at anything are people who pour their whole spirit into their endeavours. A half hearted effort doesn’t get you a gold medal; it won’t even let you qualify to compete.

Recovery is the same. You have to go all in if you want to succeed. There is no ‘sort of recovered’. We are either in recovery or we aren’t. You don’t get a yearly key tag or medallion for being clean and sober for ‘most of the year’! Wanting isn’t enough. I have to do the work; I don’t try, I do. If I want to take the journey I have to take the first step.

I know achieving recovery isn’t easy. I know there are times when it seems like life is getting me down and I’d like to escape the pain I feel but I’m either in recovery or I’m not, so chemicals or alcohol are off the table, they’re not an option. I won’t go there. My recovery is my passion.

Had I continued on the path I was going down in my disease, I would have lost everything, not just material things, but my health, my dignity and my life. That’s how this disease works and I’ve seen it take too many others down. I know I’m not different from them except that I am passionate about my recovery. I have been given the tools of recovery and they work. I know they work because I have used them in the past and I got through very difficult and stressful life events. I got through them because I worked my program and I live my steps.

Recovery is an all or nothing deal. Recovery means that some days are great and some days are challenging and there’s no avoiding any of those days. It means taking all that life offers and using my experience, strength and hope: I can apply my program to every situation. Sometimes I get through with some scrapes and bruises, physical or emotional, but I make it. At the end of the day if I didn’t consume or drink then I am successful.

Pour your passion into recovery. Let it give you the deep desire that we all need to recover. Success doesn’t come to those who sit by and wait. It comes to those who work for it, train for it, study for it. This isn’t a one time event, recovery is a lifetime process. I am grateful to be a part of it.

Here’s a link to the article that inspired me today: Skylarity

Make Me Teachable

/ Tim / 4 Comments

There are many paths to get to where we want to go in life. There’s not necessarily only one road to get to where you are going, rather many options. What makes the difference between those who achieve their goals and those who don’t make it is, I believe, attitude. Human resource professionals say that given a choice, they will choose a candidate with a positive, eager attitude over one with more skills and education.  Someone with a good attitude who is willing to listen and learn can be taught the skills of a job, make it their own and thrive in their work environment.

When the addict is ready, the recovery program will appear.

It is my attitude that determines the happiness, joy and freedom that I will experience in recovery. It’s up to me to choose to do the work of the steps or not. Meetings and sponsors can invite me to do the work, but it is my attitude toward change, trying new ways of approaching life and the people around me that will carry me through. If I don’t think I can do it, I won’t. Like Yoda’s advice to Luke in Star Wars, “Do or do not, there is not try.” I have to put myself all-in-there if I am going to make it.

Achieving a positive attitude toward life requires humility: teachability. It’s realizing that I don’t know everything, I don’t have all the answers. It’s listening to people speak at meetings and relating to their experience, strength and hope. And it’s applying what we have learned to our own lives.

I remember a speaker say that at most meetings the 70-20-10 rule applies. Seventy percent of the time people share good solid material that can be applied at some point in the future. Twenty percent of the time what is being shared has you at the edge of your seat because it is exactly what you need to hear right at this moment. And ten percent of the time, he said, it’s an opportunity to practice patience and tolerance. The funny thing is what’s a 20% moment for me, might be a 10% moment for the fellow sitting beside me. I don’t ever remember a meeting where I didn’t come away with something useful.

You can lead an addict to a meeting but you can’t make him recover.

Going to meetings is part of my program of recovery. I followed the recommendation of 90 meetings in 90 days in early recovery and it helped to develop a positive attitude and a yearning to work the Twelve Steps of the program. I discovered that I had a lot in common with the addict with six months sitting beside me or the alcoholic with 15 years across from me. I learned that I didn’t have to invent new ways of dealing with life on life’s terms; I could use the tools that others happily shared at meetings to create a path to where I want to go in life: living in the solution.

 

An Easy Way?

/ Tim / 1 Comment

Twice this past week I heard about a pill that will remove addiction and bring a person into recovery. Taking the pill is supposed to stop the cravings and even allow an alcoholic to take a drink or two without triggering a fatal obsession of needing ‘more’. What a magic pill indeed that might be to those for whom it is effective. However, I have learned that the disease of addition is three part disease: physical, emotional and spiritual. A pill only deals with the physical side of our disease.

I don’t claim that a twelve step recovery program is the only way to find a way out. I only know it works for for me, as long as I work this program. It is a program that treats all three aspects of my disease. A pill, while it seems the answer to an addict’s problems, is an easier, softer way that ultimately won’t work because it doesn’t deal with many of the root problems that result in addiction. By working the steps I was able realize that I didn’t just have a problem with substances, my real difficulties lay in my inability to face life as it is. As they say, “I came because of my drinking problem but I stayed for my thinking problem.”

The lure of the quick fix or easy money, is often impossible to resist. We want the results without putting in the work needed to achieve that result. I want the great car, but want to find a way to get it without having to work and save to buy it. I want the great relationship so I buy a book that will show me how easy it is. I want to quit drinking so I buy a pill so I won’t have to go to a recovery program and actually do the work I need to do about my approach to life.

Most of us know that simply removing the substance from an addict might force that addict to be clean or the drunk to be sober, but it won’t alter the fact that all the problems that we sought to escape are still there. All of the difficulties we had dealing with resentments, anger and fear are still there. Take the substance away and those character traits are all still present and often magnified because the drug or alcohol is no longer present.  I need the program to help me to deal with ‘me’, my resentment, anger and fear so that I can live with myself and others in relative happiness, joy and freedom.

If addiction were a simple disease that only had a physical component then popping another pill might be the answer. I have come to realize that it is multifaceted. Before coming into a twelve step program I stopped on my own several times, once for almost five years. When I started back, I was completely clean and sober. I can’t blame the substance for making me start again: there wasn’t anything in my system. I must learn how to deal with the emotional and spiritual components as well if I am to find a recovery that works.