Success

Do It Any Way

/ Tim / 1 Comment

There are no shortcuts in recovery. It’s not a buffet of items I can pick and choose. Rather it’s a recipe that I need to follow on a daily basis in order to get the results of happiness, joy and freedom. Initially I may not like doing a step or part of the step but leaving it out is an open invitation to return to the life I had before. Leaving out the sugar or substituting salt is going to alter the results of your mother’s chocolate chip cookie recipe, regardless of how much love and care you put into their making. The same is true of a recovery program: “If you want what we have, then you do what we did.”

Is it always easy? No. There are times when I want to skip an apology to someone I had an argument with. I don’t always feel like praying. What if the meetings are boring? Why should I do it all? I’ve been in recovery a month, or a year or ten years. I’m doing fine. Right? How do you think the cookies taste without the sugar?

“Do it anyway: do it any way!”

Larry was a friend of mine in recovery who often said this. A recovery program requires trust. Even if I don’t understand what is happening, even if I don’t believe it is going to work, even when I don’t have any desire, I need to do ‘it’. And I need to find a way to do ‘it’. ‘It’ has to get done. ‘It’ is part of my recovery work.

What is ‘it’? Perhaps it’s working the next step. Perhaps it’s making amends for the argument I was in yesterday or last year. It might be sitting down to pray or meditate. It could be looking into the real reason why I’m depressed or why I avoid social situations. It’s that which gnaws and knots our stomach. We all have an ‘it’. And if we’ve been in recovery even a short time, we won’t have to dig very long to know what that ‘it’ is: the next right thing I need to do.

If you ask anyone who returns to the program after a relapse if they were ‘thoroughly following their program the answer is always ‘no’. They left something out of their program that was vital to their success in it. In going to meetings you will run into members whose recovery is much less than happy, joyous and free. They too are living without some of the ingredients of a healthy recovery program. They aren’t doing ‘it’.

I’ve learned to trust the Twelve Steps as my guide. I learn to go over and review them regularly because I don’t want to go back to where and how I was living before. I can’t guarantee that I’ll still be in recovery ten years from now, but I don’t need to. If I keep doing the next right thing, if I live my recovery today then I will be okay today. Tomorrow is another day.

Today I’ll do it anyway/any way because I want recovery.  I am grateful that Larry was a part of my recovery. RIP big fellow!

 

Success in Recovery

/ Tim / Leave a comment

I read a good blog about success and how much we need to do to renew ourselves or realize our plans. Sitting on the sofa in front of the television will not make you a world class athlete or a best selling writer. People who are successful at anything are people who pour their whole spirit into their endeavours. A half hearted effort doesn’t get you a gold medal; it won’t even let you qualify to compete.

Recovery is the same. You have to go all in if you want to succeed. There is no ‘sort of recovered’. We are either in recovery or we aren’t. You don’t get a yearly key tag or medallion for being clean and sober for ‘most of the year’! Wanting isn’t enough. I have to do the work; I don’t try, I do. If I want to take the journey I have to take the first step.

I know achieving recovery isn’t easy. I know there are times when it seems like life is getting me down and I’d like to escape the pain I feel but I’m either in recovery or I’m not, so chemicals or alcohol are off the table, they’re not an option. I won’t go there. My recovery is my passion.

Had I continued on the path I was going down in my disease, I would have lost everything, not just material things, but my health, my dignity and my life. That’s how this disease works and I’ve seen it take too many others down. I know I’m not different from them except that I am passionate about my recovery. I have been given the tools of recovery and they work. I know they work because I have used them in the past and I got through very difficult and stressful life events. I got through them because I worked my program and I live my steps.

Recovery is an all or nothing deal. Recovery means that some days are great and some days are challenging and there’s no avoiding any of those days. It means taking all that life offers and using my experience, strength and hope: I can apply my program to every situation. Sometimes I get through with some scrapes and bruises, physical or emotional, but I make it. At the end of the day if I didn’t consume or drink then I am successful.

Pour your passion into recovery. Let it give you the deep desire that we all need to recover. Success doesn’t come to those who sit by and wait. It comes to those who work for it, train for it, study for it. This isn’t a one time event, recovery is a lifetime process. I am grateful to be a part of it.

Here’s a link to the article that inspired me today: Skylarity

Make Me Teachable

/ Tim / 4 Comments

There are many paths to get to where we want to go in life. There’s not necessarily only one road to get to where you are going, rather many options. What makes the difference between those who achieve their goals and those who don’t make it is, I believe, attitude. Human resource professionals say that given a choice, they will choose a candidate with a positive, eager attitude over one with more skills and education.  Someone with a good attitude who is willing to listen and learn can be taught the skills of a job, make it their own and thrive in their work environment.

When the addict is ready, the recovery program will appear.

It is my attitude that determines the happiness, joy and freedom that I will experience in recovery. It’s up to me to choose to do the work of the steps or not. Meetings and sponsors can invite me to do the work, but it is my attitude toward change, trying new ways of approaching life and the people around me that will carry me through. If I don’t think I can do it, I won’t. Like Yoda’s advice to Luke in Star Wars, “Do or do not, there is not try.” I have to put myself all-in-there if I am going to make it.

Achieving a positive attitude toward life requires humility: teachability. It’s realizing that I don’t know everything, I don’t have all the answers. It’s listening to people speak at meetings and relating to their experience, strength and hope. And it’s applying what we have learned to our own lives.

I remember a speaker say that at most meetings the 70-20-10 rule applies. Seventy percent of the time people share good solid material that can be applied at some point in the future. Twenty percent of the time what is being shared has you at the edge of your seat because it is exactly what you need to hear right at this moment. And ten percent of the time, he said, it’s an opportunity to practice patience and tolerance. The funny thing is what’s a 20% moment for me, might be a 10% moment for the fellow sitting beside me. I don’t ever remember a meeting where I didn’t come away with something useful.

You can lead an addict to a meeting but you can’t make him recover.

Going to meetings is part of my program of recovery. I followed the recommendation of 90 meetings in 90 days in early recovery and it helped to develop a positive attitude and a yearning to work the Twelve Steps of the program. I discovered that I had a lot in common with the addict with six months sitting beside me or the alcoholic with 15 years across from me. I learned that I didn’t have to invent new ways of dealing with life on life’s terms; I could use the tools that others happily shared at meetings to create a path to where I want to go in life: living in the solution.