Consistency

I hate to admit it, but I haven’t been consistent lately.  I don’t know why, but lately I have been allowing stuff to slip. And like I wrote a while back, it is far easier to maintain something at 100% than 98%; once I allow myself an ‘indulgence’, it is that much easier to find a logical reason the next time. In the same way I must be consistent about my sobriety, I also need to be consistent about by daily routines.

Maybe it’s my disease, or one my ‘isms’ but once I cross the line of allowing a variation whether a diet, or exercise routine, or any other personal commitment to myself, it is too easy to ‘let it slip’ the next time. As a former sponsor used to say, as we go along, the path becomes narrower. I have to stay vigilant about myself. My circle of control only extends to the end of my reach, once I lose control in one area, it is far easier to lose it elsewhere. Slowly, or sometimes, in a cascade, all of the old habits fall back into place and it seems I’m back where I started.

In doing a bit of research into consistency in life, I have found several common threads. First, a daily commitment to how I want to live my life. In the same way that I learned how to live with sobriety one day at a time, I’m encouraged to do the same with a change in life habit. I commit today, regardless of how yesterday went and without worry about the future: just for today.

The second thread I read about over and over is the development of a meditation practice. I can’t bend into the lotus position but I can still develop my own manner. So much of the literature on being consistent talks about a quiet time, usually first thing in the morning where one can connect to self and then, to the rest of the world. It doesn’t really matter if you want to chant, listen to music, nature sounds, focus on breathing, or practice mindfulness. Starting off the day with a solitary practice that works for you will help to focus on where you want the rest of the day to go. If it means setting the alarm clock even five or ten minutes earlier, it will be time well spent.

Third, with the mind and spirit in focus, it is important to place the body in line. A short exercise routine will wake up the body. A walk around the block, stretches, yoga, Tai Chi, are a few of the options; what works for you is the most important. A solid, healthy breakfast everyday will ensure sufficient energy to meet whatever the day will hold. Your mother was right, breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

In order for me to keep with it, I must begin each day ‘with it’. I  guess that if I can begin the day well, then there is a much better chance at me being consistent for the rest of the day. I can’t expect to run a marathon without training, I can’t expect results without commitment and I can’t expect to have a consistent day if I don’t start it consistently. Yes it take dedication and it gets results.

 

Celebrate EVERYTHING!

I was trolling through the internet, looking for a theme to blog about, when I came across this picture on Facebook:

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It really caught my eye and got me to thinking. Life will always have its ups and down. There will always be things that I absolutely love as well as those things that I would prefer not to happen. I will triumph one day and the next I may want to bury my head in the sand. Regardless of what is happening I can celebrate it.  Acknowledge it and honour it and be grateful for it.

In going over my past with a fine tooth comb I was able to see that the people, the events and the situations of my past have all led me to where I am today.  Those great moments as well as my worst moments all contributed in the making of the “me” I am today. I am a work in progress that will never be perfect or ideal. So whatever is going on around me today is just as important in making the ever evolving “Tim”  as the people, places and things of the past. I can celebrate today’s challenges and successes because they indicate that I am moving, changing, growing. They push me to become a better human being. All I have to do is be willing to take the next step.

You don’t have to have a party to celebrate. Party hats and cakes aren’t necessary. Just a quiet internal moment of gratitude, acknowledgement, and honouring of each moment of time. It’s being mindful of the present. Life is short and changeable. Now is what I have. I can celebrate my screw-ups as well accomplishments.

I live. I learn. I grow. I celebrate!

I am grateful

 

 

 

Stepping through Fear

Fear

Reams of paper have been used to expound on the subject of fear. The more I delve into discovering more about fear, the more material I find. It is pervasive in people’s thoughts and it subtly, and sometimes obviously, colours our actions. It changes how we feel and react to others. It causes arguments and wars. It runs the spectrum from a small anxiety about say, meeting a new person, to full blown paranoid phobias that can paralyze completely.

With all fear is the sense of a threat to me, my self, my ego and I allow it to affect me, how I feel about myself and what I do. ‘What if?’ ‘Maybe?’ My ego is always telling me that dismemberment and death is just around the corner, that everyone is trying to get me, that I will disappoint and that I can never do that! Fear is my ego saying to me: “That’s going to destroy, or belittle me in some way! Avoid it at all costs!” It doesn’t matter if it’s big or small, real or imagined, fear, once it’s in charge is felt the same way and will take charge.

So…What happens?

I stay in my tiny comfort zone. I don’t try new things. I miss out on experiences. I don’t trust others. I don’t trust myself. I don’t risk anything.

So….Nothing happens.

Live in the moment!

When I am in fear, I am not in the present, rather, I am in the future. I am think of what ‘might’ happen. I am in the realm of endless possibilities and I can allow my fears to stop me cold.

“You can always cope with the present moment, but you cannot cope with something that is only a mind projection – you cannot cope with the future.”  Eckhart Tolle

I am learning that I will never be able to cover all the bases, make sure that all the contingencies are in place. I can’t know the unknown; I can’t project what will happen in the future.  My ego says to me that I dare not go and my faith tells me to go boldly forth. Yes faith. I am learning to trust my Higher Power.

When I look back on my life, I can see that my Higher Power has always been there. The fact that I am here today writing this is proof that I have always been looked after by something greater than me. If that is true: I am here today,  and I know it, then why would I think that my Higher Power is going to suddenly vanish and stop looking after me tomorrow?

I am finding it much easier to simply live in the moment: in the NOW and not in the future. I can face and cope with what I need to do right now. Spending time in the future can stop me from doing anything in the now. If I focus on tomorrow I am losing the beauty of today.

Some days I am more successful than others. I usually see when I am focused on fear and can do something about it, like looking at the task at hand, staying in the now. I don’t know if I will ever wipe fear out of my life, but I can open the door to let faith in. Ego may always be there insisting that there are threats everywhere. My Higher Power is always there too giving me the courage to step through fear and move forward, knowing that I can cope with whatever is happening now.

I am grateful.