Becoming a Seeker

I sometimes ask myself why I continue to read books or listen to audios with self-help and spiritual themes. One would think by this point in my life I would have it all figured out. A lot of other people do don’t they?

I can’t speak for everyone, I am quite sure that most folks are also struggling with the issues that life presents us. I don’t think I am much different expect that I claim my ignorance. I know there is a lot I don’t know and I am grateful that I have a sense of curiosity and a desire to seek answers. The more I learn, the more I realize how much more there is to learn. As far as living goes, I think we are just scratching the surface of what it means to be alive.

As I was growing up I was given answers by my family, by education and by religion, all of which were intricately wound into a perfect mechanism. Follow the commandments and the laws of the church and I would reap my reward in heaven. As I grew older and my own curiosity kicked in I found that I could no longer believe in everything I had been taught. Speculation, interpretation and rhetoric where the foundation of many of those ‘truths’. That amazing clockwork mechanisms began to lose a few springs and wheels. And so began my own journey to seek truth.

I sought out answers in religion, later philosophy and psychology and new age mysticism. Each has its own set of truths and while they don’t all agree with each other there is common ground. The Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” is found in most. It’s an ethic of respect of others as well as of one’s self. I can live with this one. As well as the idea of Namaste: “I bow to the divine within you.” There are many generalities that I can live with. It’s when one goes into the specifics like an unbaptized child goes to ‘limbo’ or that there are nine classes of angels that my inquiring mind says, “What the …..?”

Part of my search for meaning in life begins and ends with the idea that today’s truth may not hold up tomorrow and that I had better be ready to let it go. Once we believed that the Earth was the flat centre of the universe, then the sun became the centre and now what? I guess the initiation point of the ‘Big Bang’ could be considered the centre of it all?

So I happily admit I don’t have all the answers. I must continue to Seek, to Ask, to Learn, to Share and to Apply. For me, this is what living is all about: S.A.L.S.A. adding the spice to life! And after this, I do it all over again. I believe that the answers aren’t as important as the questions I ask. The answer I got to what makes my life meaningful when I was 14 years old is a whole lot different to my answer today.  What is success for me yesterday may not be the same answer tomorrow depending upon what I learn today. I can look at life with a true sense of awe.

So yes, even at my age and I hope until I am no longer breathing, I will be a seeker. I will ask the questions. I will try new things. I will boldly go where I have not gone before because, well, it’s there.

Namaste

 

Opening up

A human being is a part of the whole called the “universe,” a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in all its beauty. We may or may not be able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security. ~Albert Einstein

Throughout his whole life Einstein never lost his wonder at life and the greatness of the universe. His sense of ‘awe’ stretched  from the vastness of time and space to the tiniest particles of matter and non-matter. In all of creation he saw that there was something beyond what the senses could sense. He believed that science and religion would ultimately end up at the same point with respect to the universe and this rather persistent illusion we call reality.

Spirituality, I believe, is that which connects us. The self, my ego, is that which tells me that I am separate. Science may be disintegrating the old images of God as creator but at the same time it is opening our minds to a newer reality of something far greater than ourselves at the centre of all. Exactly what that is? I have no idea. I too have a sense of awe and wonder when I contemplate the the seen and unseen universe of time and space.

I can take a cup of water from the ocean. It has all of the chemical properties of the ocean but it is not the ocean; where are the tides and currents and immense power in this cup of salty water? However, when I pour it back into the ocean it again becomes the ocean. It reintegrates so fully that I can never remove the same cup of water from it no matter how hard I try.

I see Consciousness in the same way. I am a drop of water splashed up from the River of Life. I possess many of the same properties as the river, but I am not the river. I can look around at all the other droplets splashed up at the same time and I can notice differences: different sizes, colours, position. But once my drop falls back down into the water, I become part of the River once more and those differences no longer exist.

I think that is what Einstein is getting at in the above quote. We are more alike than we are different. We imprison ourselves by our beliefs in our separateness rather than free ourselves in the knowledge that we are all the same. Man, woman, child and all of nature are all the creation of Universal Consciousness. It’s a tough concept to grasp, given our world as it is and how we have been taught all of our lives. But just knowing and opening ourselves up to other possibilities, is a step in a new direction. Just working toward a changed perspective is enough to free us from the bondage of self. And that’s a reason to be grateful.

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Commit to Your Journey

Happy New Year!

I was going to write a rather lengthy article about time for today, but I decided against it: For many of us, we were up late last night celebrating. Even if we don’t imbibe, the lack of sleep from one night affects our concentration. So I would like to offer some thoughts on commitment.

I am grateful for many things I have learned in recovery. One of the greatest is that I can start again. If I fall, I can get back up. If I fail, I can pick up where I left off. If I am having a lousy day, I can do a reset. I never have to accept that I am down for the count, because I’m not. Even on my worst day in life I can sit down, take in a few deep breaths and recommit myself. When I open my eyes, I am starting anew. I don’t have to wait for tomorrow to start again, nor the start of the new week, month or even year. Right now! I can recommit myself to my priorities at this moment.

I hear people say that we have to start over again from scratch. We made errors in how we predicted things might turn out. We allowed ourselves to become entrenched in our ego. We let the tribe mentality influence our actions. Do we really start from scratch? No. We carry what we learn with us through to the next lesson in life. This time, because of what we have learned, we can make the changes, or avoid the pitfalls.

There was a popular game when I was in university (yes, long before video games) where you had to move a marble through a maze on platform full of holes by tilting the platform one way or the other to roll the marble along. With each attempt, you learned the moves to make to avoid the holes and make it to the end of the maze. The lesson from the times before taught you which way to tilt the platform to achieve your goal. You were starting over, but never from ‘scratch’.

But how do I keep going if I seem to keep falling into the same ‘hole’ in life? By renewing my commitment. I commit to my recovery on a daily basis. I don’t necessarily know what is around the corner of the labyrinth of life but I know that if I commit daily to my recovery I can learn to avoid the pits that threaten to swallow me up. If I do fall through the pit, I now have experience on what not to do. Once I have learned to avoid one hole, the next time I have to go past it will be that much easier. So while I may be back at the start, I am not strictly speaking, a beginner. I can apply the lessons I have learned.

All I have is this moment right now. There is no yesterday, no tomorrow, only now. I commit to this moment. I place my focus on this moment and live it fully. Not by a long shot am I always successful at this. I continue to fall, to crawl along the ground for a bit and gradually find the courage to stand again and keep on walking on my journey.

Stick with your priorities. Commit to your journey daily. Start again whenever you need to knowing that your destination will always wait for you to arrive.

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