Author: Tim

Opening the Door to Change

/ Tim / Leave a comment

When I was still in the throws of my addictions I only had a faint idea of what I was really doing to myself; the physical, emotional and mental harm I caused, not only to me, but those who cared about me. Part of that is because I spent most of my time seeking out and planning out the next ‘party’ and part of it was because of my ‘buddies’ at the time. I hung around folks who acted like me and thought like me. One of the first ‘suggestions’ I received in recovery was to step away from those people, places and things that were part of my life that I wished to leave behind; close that door and open a new one. Simple enough advice, but why did it take decades to realize it?

In order to change how I was living, I had to change how I was living.

Photo by hazan aku on Pexels.com

I replaced my barstool for a chair in a meeting room and changed what I thought about by listening to and reading recovery literature. I started to listen to others in recovery. I started to talk to others about what I was going through. I helped out with cleaning up after the meetings and did some socializing with the new people I was meeting. I got myself an excellent sponsor and I began to study the Twelve Steps of Recovery with him. Over the course of the next six months I changed a great deal. The change was gradual, almost imperceptible to me, but very obvious to those that I hadn’t frightened off in the previous years. I changed my perspective, what I was looking at, and everything changed.

G.I.G.O.: Garbage In: Garbage Out…..or…..GOOD IN: GOOD OUT!

Photo by Maarten van den Heuvel on Pexels.com

Every one of us is the direct result of what we put into our bodies, minds and spirit. Western society’s fixation of fast cheap food had pushed obesity to the extreme. You simply can’t have a healthy body if you continue to put unhealthy food into it. Same with the mind. If you want a healthy mind, be aware of what you are putting into it. What are you watching, reading, listening to? Who are your buddies? Where are you spending most of your time? As the saying goes; tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are!

It takes mindfulness, conscious action and a determination to build the life you want to have. I used to put the cart ahead of the horse. I thought that if I had x, y, and z then I would be happy. I have discovered that happiness is the result of living according to my values and principles. Happiness is the realization that I am living right. When I am happy, the x, y and z will come to me, or, more likely, I will discover that I while I may ‘want’ those things, I really don’t ‘need’ them.

Yes, I had to leave my old buddies behind when I came into recovery. I found new ones who honoured my recovery and who helped me along the way. I let the old buddies know where I was and what I was doing and left the door open for them to come through but made it clear that I had no intention of walking back through that door and onto my old barstool. And as long as I continue to pursue new ‘Good’ to put into my body, mind and soul, I know that I will continue to move forward in life.

Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.com

The ‘Tim’ of the past is gone.

One of the most profound lessons I had to learn in recovery was that I had to let go of the ‘Tim’ that I knew in order for a new person to emerge. This is a lesson that I repeat daily, asking my Higher Power to ‘relieve me of the bondage of self’: to free me from my ego’s enslavement. If I wish to continue to grow today I must shed the old skin of yesterday and I do that by being mindful and aware of the people, places and things I’m spending my time with. Only by this daily renewal do I continue to move forward in this incredible journey of discovery that is life.

The Lion, the Tiger and the Donkey

/ Tim / 1 Comment

The donkey told the tiger, “The grass is blue.”

The tiger replied, “No, the grass is green .”

The discussion became heated, and the two decided to submit the issue to arbitration, so they approached the lion. As they approached the lion on his throne, the donkey started screaming: ′′Your Highness, isn’t it true that the grass is blue?”

The lion replied: “If you believe it is true, the grass is blue.”

The donkey rushed forward and continued: ′′The tiger disagrees with me, contradicts me and annoys me. Please punish him.”

The king then declared: ′′The tiger will be punished with 3 days of silence.”

The donkey jumped with joy and went on his way, content and repeating: ′′The grass is blue, the grass is blue…”

The tiger asked the lion, “Your Majesty, why have you punished me, after all, the grass is green?”

The lion replied, ′′You’ve known and seen the grass is green.”

The tiger asked, ′′So why do you punish me?”

The lion replied, “That has nothing to do with the question of whether the grass is blue or green. The punishment is because it is degrading for a brave, intelligent creature like you to waste time arguing with an ass, and on top of that, you came and bothered me with that question just to validate something you already knew was true!” The biggest waste of time is arguing with the fool and fanatic who doesn’t care about truth or reality, but only the victory of his beliefs and illusions. Never waste time on discussions that make no sense. There are people who, for all the evidence presented to them, do not have the ability to understand. Others who are blinded by ego, hatred and resentment, and the only thing that they want is to be right even if they aren’t.

When IGNORANCE SCREAMS, intelligence moves on.

Authorship Unknown

Daily, perhaps because of the glut of information available, we come across something that is, at least for us, blatantly false. The source of the information is often decidedly adamant that his or her version is true. I often wonder how the ‘Flat Earthers’ gained momentum, or the ‘New World Order,’ or any of the other conspiracy theories that have taken flight. I also wonder why people would place themselves in a position where they are diametrically opposed to what has been already been proven. But, as the lion responded, we can say that what you believe is true for you, is true.

H. Spencer (Nice chops!)

It is useless to argue with someone who has set their mind upon some issue or idea and refuses to look at the evidence that does not support their belief. The quote often attributed to Herbert Spencer says:

There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which can not fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance-that principle is contempt prior to investigation.

In other words, if I am of the belief that I already know what the answer is, not only do I not bother to investigate it further, I will rebuke and rebuff any attempts to contradict my belief. I will never know the truth because I am not interested in truth. I am interested in my belief and will defend it even when facing insurmountable evidence to the contrary.

If an argument is not going to be enriching for both parties, then it is time to move on.

So as the lion says, just let that go; there is no sense in trying to argue with someone who is not willing to see another point of view. What one believes is true is true for them, is true for them. Some people haven’t yet discovered that the answers to questions are less important that the questions themselves. Moreover, one must realize that arguing with such a person is a waste of time.

We have all run into folks who love to argue but when their only aim is to bring others over to their side and not to listen to any information that does not support that view it is not a debate, but rather, an espousal of one’s views. For many, opinions on religion, politics or other hot-button issues aren’t open to any other interpretation but the one that their holders carry. To those we can say: “I’m glad that you believe what you believe,” and leave it there. However, it does us no service to completely dismiss their point of view because that makes us guilty of the same arrogant offence. Perhaps their belief may lead us to ask a new question.

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Pexels.com

I need open-mindedness to receive new information. I also need humility to accept that the information and the beliefs that I hold may not be correct. I do my best to seek the truth, to find answers to new questions that come to me. Some things that were true for me in my youth are no longer true today. New ideas in the realms of science, mathematics, and spirituality come to the fore often. I relish the chance to explore them for myself and find an answer that will work for today but not hold onto that answer so tightly that I refuse to see future evidence to the contrary. That will, as Spencer said, keep me in permanent ignorance.

RINGING THE BELL

/ Tim / 1 Comment

When we come to a realization of a new reality, it is amazing how much that opens up and changes our lives. Think of when you got your driver’s license and got behind the wheel of your parent’s car for the first time alone! What freedom, what exhilaration, what a new world just opened up to you! You just made a huge levelling up on the independence scale! And after a few moments of this new found view of your world, you couldn’t imagine how you survived without that piece of paper in your wallet. It must be what a butterfly thinks as it’s remembering its life as a caterpillar: a complete metamorphosis. And this brave new world also comes with a caveat: once you’ve rung the bell, you can’t unring it. Once you know something that will change your point of view, your point of view is forever changed.

I’ve had such a world view changing experience this past week. I have been delving into the nature of consciousness and the human condition. Max Planck, a physicist and the father of quantum physics talks about consciousness as the matrix upon which matter finds its existence: a Universal Consciousness over all matter. From the simple single atom to a rock, to a one-cell amoeba, to a tiger and to a human being, all find their source in consciousness. Certainly we, as humans, have a self aware consciousness that is far above that of the amoeba, but how far below us might the whale or the great ape find itself, if below at all? And who is to say that we are at the apex of this Universal Consciousness. Upon further investigation, the deeper we peer into outer space, we will undoubtedly discover that there are beings or entities in the cosmos that are as far above us in consciousness and awareness as we are above a rock.

There is only one reality: Consciousness. Everything, absolutely everything, begins and ends here!

I suppose you could call Universal Consciousness ‘God’, but for me, that word carries far too much baggage. Say the word ‘God’ to ten different people from ten different areas in the world and you’ll get at least 20 different definitions of what it means, many of them contradictory, even when coming from the same person. I think of the word ‘God’ and I am immediately on my knees at church looking up at some Zeus-like being ready to judge me for my sins. I think it’s best for me at least to refer to it as Universal Consciousness or, as one writer called it, the Big ‘C’.

I am connected to all who have lived, on Earth, and on all planets!

Let’s carry this a little further into the theory of quantum physics. If all matter, which is built upon the framework of Consciousness, is twisted together in an intricate web of connection then it cannot be separated: quantum entanglement, then that means that all matter, whether here on earth or thousands of lightyears away, is One. And all Consciousness is also One: Universal. The space that is between you and me doesn’t separate us. It unites us into one, both in body (matter) and spirit consciousness. As well, the consciousness that each of us possess can be seen as part of the single Universal Consciousness. For me, this is a far more compelling concept of my relationship to the divine than an old man on a throne throwing thunderbolts: a concept that I could never go back to now that bell of Universal Consciousness has been rung.

Alice Walker

But one day when I was sitting quiet and feeling like a motherless child, which I was, it come to me: that feeling of being part of everything, not separate at all. I knew that if I cut a tree, my arm would bleed. And I laughed and cried and I run all around the house. I knew just what it was. In fact, when it happen, you can’t miss it. Alice Walker, The Color Purple

I sense that unity with all things, both seen and unseen. I feel like I have stepped out of the Platonic Cave and out of the shadows that I thought were reality and into a new light of being. I am part of the whole complexity of Universal Consciousness. And when we as human beings start to see how alike we are, the insignificant differences will fade away and we will work toward a better understanding of being a part of everything. Body and Soul. And when we have finally seen that, then perhaps we will begin to understand that which unites us with the rock, the animal, the planet, and the Universe. Matter and Consciousness are One.

I am intricately entangled with all life, all matter, everywhere!

This is one bell that can’t be unrung. And it is going to take some more time to fully unpack what it means.

Please share your ideas about this with me in the comments on this or any other article in Recovery River. Thank you.